More of My Photos
Just posting some more of my favorite photos from the past...
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Odd
I find this image both beautiful and disturbing. Beautiful because it is simply that. And I have a thing for reflections, as you know if you've seen my photos.
But disturbing because in this world this is so much potential for clarity, truth, hope, beauty, art, life...but there is so little that comes into being.
The way AA juxatposes these the elements of beauty and hope with destruction and despair, is odd but also, in a way, it makes complete sense. It hurts me to look at them both in this way. I don't like it.
But I suppose maybe that is the point.
Higher Ground
So tonight I went to meet a great friend of mine and we ended up at this coffee house we had never been to. There was live music, and a fairly young crowd there. We ended up having this great conversation with a former minister there, and talking about mission work and he said that he had been in Africa, and that his heart was still there, and he couldn't explain what he meant.
But I knew what he meant. My heart is in other places too.
Anyway, I was fretting all day today about this man I have met recently, who appeared to be totally interested in me, but now, it seems, I was wrong about that. So I was feeling all hopeless, blah blah blah.
Hanging out with C always makes me feel uplifted. She's so positive and spiritual and grounded. She was blabbing with the minister while we ordered our drinks, and later, he came over to talk to us some more.
I told him he should go back to Africa then, and he perked all up, and thanked me for that. Then he wanted to say a prayer with us. Well, normally I would think this was something weird and I would never do it. Especially not in public and in a coffee house.
But it seemed the right thing. He took both of our hands, and he said a beautiful prayer, and I never felt uncomfortable for one minute.
It's part of the thing I mentioned in my last post. I feel content, and now feel so much more open to the experiences of life.
It's a great feeling.
Your Smiling Face
Today, when I was walking downstairs at school, I ran into one of the fourth grade classes on their way up the stairs. Their classroom is right across from my library and so I talk to their teacher quite frequently. She's been very supportive to me, always telling me how much she appreciates me and what I am doing. It's been really helpful to me in my overwhelming first days in my new career. Which I love, by the way.
And apparently it shows.
Today when I ran into that class at the stairwell, I stopped and waited for them to pass, and Mrs. J said "Oh, it's always so nice to see your smiling face." Then she said it again. I just smiled even more.
I thought about it, and I realized that just a little while before that, my new "friend" (if you can call him that) said to me "You're always smiling, that's why I like you."
I have to say, that no one has ever said these things about me. Dramatic, complainer, whiner, crabby, tired, stressed...(funny, talented, and smart too :) are all words I am used to hearing...but internally it has always pained me to hear them. I wanted so much not to be those things, but I couldn't seem to get away from them.
J said to me last week, "You really love your job, don't you?" And I just said "Yes, yes, I do" with no hesitation, no pause to fake my answer, just yes, I do. He smiled so sweetly then, and said, "You're blessed." And I agreed, "I am."
Today when that teacher said that to me, after J had said it earlier, made me very happy. This is the person I know I am, I have always been, and finally, now, people can see me.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
XLVIII
Two happy lovers make one bread,
a single moon drop in the grass.
Walking, they cast two shadows that flow together;
waking, they leave one sun empty in their bed.
(from 100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda)
Startled by God
A little poem by Hafiz...
Not like
A lone beautiful bird
These poems now rise in great white flocks
Against my mind's vast hills
Startled by God
Breaking a branch
When his foot
Touches
Earth
Near
Me.
Previous Posts
- HELLO FRIENDS
- I'm still here...just waiting to get a new consoli...
- Chihuly
- The Gates
- Still Here
- blog holiday
- The little note at the bottom of this photo made m...
- looking back toward the sun
- along the wall
- Kim and I looking for the father's name of one of ...
Archives
- 07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004
- 07/25/2004 - 08/01/2004
- 08/01/2004 - 08/08/2004
- 08/08/2004 - 08/15/2004
- 08/15/2004 - 08/22/2004
- 08/22/2004 - 08/29/2004
- 08/29/2004 - 09/05/2004
- 09/05/2004 - 09/12/2004
- 09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004
- 09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004
- 09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004
- 10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004
- 10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004
- 10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004
- 10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004
- 10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004
- 11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004
- 11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004
- 11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004
- 11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004
- 12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004
- 12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
- 12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004
- 12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005
- 01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005
- 01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005
- 01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005
- 02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005
- 02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005
- 02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005
- 03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005
- 03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005
THIS IS ME: Writer, musician, poet, singer, thinker, over-sensitive, silly, sensual, serious, spiritual, creative, intense, funny, sarcastic, social butterfly (when out of cocoon), messy apartment, recent MLS graduate, cat, red liptsick, red toenails, red shoes, red skirt, liberal, single, seeking, book-loving, compassionate, perfectionist, drama queen, over-the-top, loud mouth, whispery asthmatic, tell it like it is, truth-seeking, loving, intuitive, psychic, open, dreamy, fantasizing, plump, nice ankles and legs, eyes turn green when I cry, crabby-happy, optimistic, hopeful, sad for the world, idealistic, dancer, rollerblader, sweaty, over-forgiving, nutty, theatrical, human being.