Ember

The trace of your fingers
along my arm
my head resting in you
heart beating
in rhythm
with that movement
circling closer
until you were in me
all of you
I let you
come and twist me
into every shape
your love not real
just lust
my sky open
to the full moon of you
so far away
unreachable it seems
now
despite the immersion
of your self into mine
the penetration of every
place I might
receive you
including the heart, my blood
I wanted this
offered it
opened to you
with hope of that
full moon rising
but it was only
the reflection of the sun
against you
that I saw
only these refracted rays
releasing their energy
into my core,
not you
never you,
just this light and heat
burning me
with a scar only I
can feel
I am
just an ember now
in the bed

if I wait long enough
my smoldering body
will turn to flame
a sun rising
in the east
you will never see.

Egg Blue

Love's wax blood
cools

here then I go
from he to me

the picture's vision
powered under

light, I said
please, and it was

this egg blue ache
has use.

Book Things

Have you stopped
trudging through
book things
survival your life
language a tree
you climb
toward a twirling
sky blue above
soar away
without me.

Flesh

You did not call
phone silent
like drowned body
floating in my imagination
the conversation
how did it all turn out
wonder did you even
hear amid your lost-love cries
my panicky, fear,
that I would join
the three women I know
who've lost
breasts, hair, fertility
oh yes, my drama
but cancer does not
decide based on who
imagines it better.

So I wait a week
biopsy punched into skin
of breast and think
and think of God
and think it's nothing
I say little, unlike
usual stream of conscious
complaints, maybe you
didn't hear me
when I said
they took part of my flesh
my breast
my womanhood threatened
my life for the first time

I realize that all
we are headed for
in the end is death

you must not have heard
or else would have
yes, you would have asked
my silent wire across
the short distance of one street
energized by you,
you would have called

but maybe what I said was
wolf, wolf, oh yes,
you've ignored me
when I was sure
you would have called.

Canyon

Can there be
a protected and wild
torride et tranquille

canyon
between us?

trembling
I whisper
je t'adore
feel and bend
into your night
with hope.

Isabella 

He

slides teeth
against cool pleasure
me caught
with him

slick murmur
love kiss

I am gone.

Me and Mel :) 

images from the fridge 

Me and my friend Kathy at an opening last night 

PARKING SPOTS--MY PHOTO

Cool! Here's the photo! :)

The Path To Love

Deepak Chopra's book (title above) says this:

The reason that ego and love are not compatible comes down to this: you cannot take your ego into the unknown, where love wants to lead. If you follow love, your life will become uncertain, and the ego craves certainty. You will have to surrender to another person, and the ego prizes its own will above anyone else's. Love will make your feelings ambiguous, and the ego wants to feel the certainty of right and wrong. Many other experiences that cannot be comprehended by ego apply to love--a lover is confused, spontaneous, vulnerable, exposed, detached, carefree, wondrous, and ever-new.

Wow. Heavy stuff. Guess I know what my problem's been lately. Letting go of the defense of the ego...lots to learn...